It sounds awful, immature, or like the problem is me. But the truth is, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a quiet process, little by little, until one day I found myself alone.

To everyone on the outside, I’m just a bad friend who disappeared. To me, it was growing up.

When you’re a girl, you believe friendships last forever, that love is eternal and the world is pink. When you’re an adult, you realize that cleaning out your social circle is healing.

There are a thousand reasons a friendship ends. My group was four girls plus me. To tell you what happened, what I learned and how I got through it, I’m going to change their names.

1. The traitor (Antonella)

She was one of my closest friends. In the middle of our teens she apparently couldn’t keep her hormones in check, and she hooked up with a guy I’d dated. Obviously she hid it from me, and I found out from someone else in the group. (And as I write this, I’m wondering: why did the others know and I didn’t?)

Anyway, she broke the most basic code there is. Loyalty isn’t up for negotiation. Bye.

2. The distant one (Florencia)

We drifted apart naturally after high school. No fights, no drama. We just stopped seeing each other every day in class and at recess, which, without us knowing it, was the only thing holding us together.

Once we each went our own way, inertia did its thing and we never saw each other or texted again.

3. The one with bad values (Thalía)

Her name isn’t Thalía, but it is a singer’s name.

She was my best friend, my person. I was sure it would be a friendship for life; we almost got matching tattoos. That’s exactly why it was the hardest process, the longest and most painful breakup. To this day I think about her and whether I should reach out, but I never do.

Maybe immaturity took her down the wrong path, hanging out with people I didn’t feel comfortable around and getting into scenes that weren’t for me. Our values changed, the friendship got awkward, the problems were constant; it was like a long divorce where you do the grieving while you’re still together.

I tried for a while, but in the end I gave up.

4. The one who left (Melina)

She moved to another city for family reasons. At first you promise to stay in touch, but real life runs you over. Each of us with our own lives and drama, her getting used to a new routine…

WhatsApp messages feel like they take centuries to send when you live in different parts of the country, even though they’re instant. We saw each other once when she could come visit, and then… it all faded away.

Neither of us really made the effort.

I want to join the club

Why I started this club

Suddenly I’m on the couch writing this. I have one childhood friend I talk to every few months. I live with my boyfriend in a new city where I have no friends, I don’t talk to the neighbors, I’m shy (which doesn’t help at all), and the girls in my classes have an 1800s mindset I don’t connect with at all.

That’s when I understood the biggest lesson: ending up alone isn’t a failure. It’s the space I needed to grow, to mature, to figure out what I need, what I’m not going to put up with anymore and, finally, to start building a circle of friends that actually reflects me.

Besties Club wasn’t born just because an idea came to me one random night. It was born from my own experience, because I know there are thousands of us women in Uruguay going through this exact moment, feeling alone as adults but unwilling to settle for fake friendships.

If you’re reading this, it’s because you don’t want to fake it either. You want a real, strong friendship, with women who are worth it.

I’m inviting you to open a new chapter of your life with girls who are on your same wavelength. Your club is waiting for you.

Join the waitlist